It took a little while, but reader Carmine finally got to experience the true potential of the Vision Camera. His wife ran across this chick while playing Uno. "Um...Just add her to my friends list, honey."
Posts with tag sex
Double Vision
It took a little while, but reader Carmine finally got to experience the true potential of the Vision Camera. His wife ran across this chick while playing Uno. "Um...Just add her to my friends list, honey."
Vision Camera: Uno uncensored
I picked up a Vision Camera a few days early thanks to the stock first, ask questions later policy at the local Toys R Us. After a weekend spent playing Uno under the watchful gaze of complete strangers (at the expense of this blog I'm afraid), I can report that the camera is a worthy purchase based on that cool watery dashboard effect alone. Webcams have been around forever, but it still feels strange to have to check your boxers for complete scrotal coverage while playing a console. Just pray the guy on the other side does the same. I talked to a couple girl gamers who had already witnessed Uno hands that devolved into a sordid game-within-a-game of "show me yours, I'll show you mine" to the shrieking glee of the zit-faced participants (and presumably, the horror of the ESRB). Wild Cards never had so much economic clout. Expect this type of seedy peep show bartering to take off as the Vision makes its way into more sweaty palms this week. It will probably take a couple months before the novelty of pimping out your girlfriend for color changes wears off, or at least settles to a tolerable level. In the mean time, YouTube should prepare for a flood of poorly lit softcore with the same soundtrack.
Heads up: Saints Row luke-warm coffee
This proudly immature Saints Row footage should be enough to get Monica Lewinsky excited, if not Hillary Clinton. Warning: Not safe for work, clueless government regulators, or uptight post nannies.
[Blame Drew]
Eidos cools coffee, de-nipples Tomb Raider
The left half of the above pic is a nipple-licious stripper skin from the European PC version of Tomb Raider: Legend that Xboxic (post not entirely safe from work) speculates might be responsible for possibly delaying the April 11 U.S. release of the game. The right half is the same skin after applying an areola-erasing patch. Eidos denies that the U.S game has been delayed, but our fellow bloggers have provided pretty solid proof that Legend was indeed smuggling raisins overseas.
Is Eidos performing a last minute emergency nipplectomy on the U.S. PC and 360 versions to spare American kids the horror of seeing something they used to suck on everyday—narrowly avoiding the next Hot Coffee scandal? Will Senator Cankles and her Fundie bedfellows be able to sleep at night knowing they missed an opportunity to further demagogue games as pixelated pornography? Only Lara knows for sure, and she's keeping her shirt on.
(I swear this is the last breast-related post for a while.)
In defense of Rumble Roses XX
Is it just me, or does Alex Navarro's joyless video review of Rumble Roses XX (6.6 out of 10) sound like it was delivered with the knowledge that his Mom would be tuning in:
It creates the same unseemly vibe as [the previous PS2 game]. The girls in the game are very much objects of affection. They don't have any personality to speak of. They don't say much...They're there to dance for you, to shake their asses, to jiggle their chests in front of you and they've gone so far in this game to let you dress them up in outfits and have them pose in sexy ways and take photos of them and trade them with people online. It's gone to that next level of softcore porn where, you know,adolescent boys, they're gonna love it, but if the whole idea of dressing up polygonal women and having them jiggle their parts in front of you makes you at all uncomfortable, you're gonna hate this game.
Oy, next he'll start complaining about the booth babes at E3.
If I want to be told that dressing up digital dolls in schoolgirl outfits and forcing them to do jumping jacks is "unseemly," there are plenty of sources I can turn to for that sentiment. Like say, every woman on the planet. This review is sort of like listening to your girlfriend whine about the lack of plot in Buttman Goes to Rio.
Gameplay issues aside, I think the developers accomplished exactly what they set out to do with RRXX: create a fetish-friendly female wrestling title with great graphics that oozes sex appeal and bizarre Japanese kink. Give them some credit for staying true to that vision.
And if somebody tells you you're a perv for getting your sick thrills from a pixelated girl in a leather thong, remind them that staring at John Cena's perfectly rendered nipples as he crotch locks a sweaty Rey Mysterio isn't an improvement—at least if you're straight.
