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Ask X3F: Dustin hijacked this edition

Shhh, keep quiet guys. As you know, Richard is busy in San Francisco roaming the GDC show floor, making connections, doing his thing and being all busy n' stuff. So, I figured it would be the opportune time to take over one of his weekly features seeing that I'm not at GDC and don't have any responsibilities. And after a quick search, I found my target. Ask X3F has been officially hijacked this week, oh yeah!

Normally, Richard is very helpful and considerate to fanboys who send in questions for the column. He will even sometimes spend hours trying to find answers to random 360 technical questions or shoot emails off to industry folks to get the scoop. But that's not how I roll. No, not today. My Ask X3F hijacking is going to be rude, crude and so very un-helpful (is that even a word?). Prepare for some no holds barred un-Ask X3F that's chock-full of "bleh?" and "wha?" moments. Just don't tell Richard about this. I still require his signature on my paycheck every month.

And for when Richard returns: If you've got a question for Ask X3F, or if you simply have something to share, send it to: ask [at] xbox360fanboy [dawt] com.

X3F, will you let me into the fanboy towers, please?

What headset other than the wired one that comes standard would you recommend? I'm in the market for one but I don't want to pay over $70 for one.

-CB

Umm, nope. You see, Fanboy Towers is a mysterious, unique and very l33t location. A place where only pre-approved and physically fit bloggers can visit. And sadly CB, you are neither pre-approved or a physically fit blogger. Sorry man. But you wouldn't want to come here anyway. We are known to have constant mood swings, the Nerf cannon will randomly shoot you in the forehead and the stench of bloggers blogging away is enough to kill a sewer rat. For serious. Oh, and about that headset. Erm ... just look here and find something you like. Next question!

Mighty Fanboy Masters,
Please grace me with a response to my meager questions:

1) I keep my profile and saves on a memory card so I can roam b/t my three consoles and visit friends. However, if I have more than two people over to play, I've got to shuffle things around or suffer through a 15 minute recovery. Do you know of any way to expand the number of memory card expansion slots similar to the USB expansion devices?

2) Any rumors yet on the Spring Dashboard Update?

- All Glory To The Fanboy Masters

Nice, I like the whole "fanboy masters" thing you have going on there. You've earned your brownie points for the day. Speaking of brownies, we should totally get a pan of chocolate goodness for Fanboy Towers next week. I'll put that on our grocery list. Okay, let's get to the question answering. 1) You have a case of "mobile profile management disorder" and I do not think any amount of memory cards will cure you. Down a glass of orange juice and take two Tums. Problem solved. 2) Rumors? X3F doesn't live in the land of rumors, how dare you ask such a question? You make it seem like we thrive on rumors or need some sort of rumor-sustenance to maintain our fanboy'ism. How rude. But if we did comment on rumors, we'd say we haven't heard a darn thing about the Spring Update. Give it a month or two.

Just wondering if you had heard any rumblings about a potential video game for the upcoming G.I. Joe movie in 2009. Like Transformers, the toy is a Hasbro property and the movie is being produced by Paramount and DreamWorks. Will Activision have the video game rights? If so, do you think they will make a 3rd person action game or a first person shooter. Personally I think it would be awesome if they got one of the Call of Duty development teams (preferably Infinity Ward) to turn G.I. Joe into a killer FPS. Any information would be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

Brian
GT: WolverineFan19

This is an easy one. We have absolutely no information about an upcoming G.I. Joe game based on an upcoming G.I. Joe movie. That said, we do know one thing. The game will not be good no matter how great the movie ends up being and it will not make Call of Duty 4 fanboys become official G.I. Joes. Infinity Ward wouldn't touch that game with a sixteen foot pole.

Richard(SenseiRam), Dustin(SuperDunners), & Alexander(SliXander),

Would it be too much to ask, Why is there no local information center on the Xbox blades? I mean the Wii has the weather channel and, for that matter, full internet browsing. I would like MS to tell me what the weather is in my area, based on my membership zipcode, instead of having to wait on my local newscaster to deliver his/her weather report. Maybe even include a popular newsclip or two. I used this feature with the Wii every day. What is the deal? I trust you guys to bring me the information I need.

Also, what's up with the unlockable Ninja Gaiden Arcade in NG: Black not being playable on the 360? I know that's probably old news to you guys but I just found out and I think that's bogus. Anyway, love the show. Keep casting!

Larry Asberry, Jr.

Seeing that I'm the only one answering the questions here you shall NEVER, EVER mention Richard or Alexander's name in your Ask X3F questions. Ha! Only kidding, we're still cool (mood swing). The whole weather idea or releasing content based on location is an interesting idea, but one has to accept that the Xbox 360 isn't a Wii. Wii Channels are silly and as much as you trust me to bring you the information you need, Richard would probably be more attentive to your needs. And about the Ninja Gaiden Arcade not being in the Xbox Originals version of Ninja Gaiden Black, well ... Xbox Originals are stinkers anyway. It's expected.

My wife just finished Mass Effect. She is a huge gamer and really loves RPGs. She customized a very hot "Lorelai" Shepherd and then proceeded to kick the game's butt as a straight-talking, no-nonsense space hottie with a female paramour to boot. I gotta admit, I developed a little crush on Lorelai as I watched my wife play the game. We both want to know if Mass Effect II (and then III) will allow her to continue on as Lorelai. I can't imagine her recreating an exact duplicate in the upcoming games.
Doug B.

My only advice to you Doug is that I do not advise giving into your urges. Leaving your wife to elope with a video game character just doesn't seem like a logical thing to do. Unless we're talking about that Lorelai Sheperd from Mass Effect, she's a keeper. Oh ... we are talking about her? Well, in that case, totally leave your wife and head to Mexico this instant. Life's too short not to be happy.

Well fanboys, that's enough Ask X3F hijacking for a few months. I'm burned out as my quest to make a mockery of this column turned out being way more mentally taxing then I expected. And for those of you who want real, honest and supportive answers to your questions, you'll only have to wait a week. I will be returning the Ask X3F duties back to its rightful owner Richard and all (hopefully) will be right in the world. But watch out. You never know when another Ask X3F hijacking will take place ... E3 isn't all that far off.

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