It's frequently fitting that we begin Zero Punctuation related stories with a disclaimer, so here we go. If you a) love Mass Effect or b) have no sense of humor, you'd best turn around right now. This week, as you may have guessed, Yahtzee takes on BioWare's latest opus, Mass Effect. To put it succinctly, Mass Effect joins the likes of Guitar Hero III and Jericho. In other words, he's not a fan. His major beefs are the game's heavy amount of text and some less than great combat. You can find the video embedded after the break. It is, as usual, not safe for work.
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 3)
12-20-2007 @ 4:55PM
Big Filth said...
cant wait to get home to check this out. I like his reviews. I am sitting on the fence when it comes to this game. I got it a couple of weeks early when K mart slipped up and put it on the shelves and have yet to complete it. I think Im towards the end. the thing is, I cant tell if I like it or if I HATE it. There are lots of things I hate about the game and a few things I like. I seem to get pissed off every time I try to play.
on a side note, I just saw a christmas themed map for CRASH on cod4 for the PC and I am soooo jealous! us 360 fanboys need this map!!
12-20-2007 @ 4:58PM
i hope he rips on the slow-ass elevators...
they have faster than light cross-galaxy travel but the elevators are slower than the ones in my apartment building.
12-20-2007 @ 5:01PM
They're faster than a loading screen.
12-20-2007 @ 8:51PM
David W. said...
Yea...those are there as a "seamless" way to load...in other words, the creators didn't want a loading screen since it would completely kill the feel of the game, so they used the elevators instead.
12-20-2007 @ 5:03PM
I watched this at work just now and the non-stop laugh fest it provoked in me got quite a few people doing the ol' gopher peeks over the cubicles. I like all of Yahtzee's reviews...keep 'em coming.
12-20-2007 @ 5:06PM
Big Filth said...
"They're faster than a loading screen."
yes, good thing bioware took that into consideration and gives you a million loading screens in addition to the hellish elevator rides.
I swear im either in an elevator or a loading screen more often then Im actually playing that game.
also, has anyone noticed how the "spaceship" that you are stuck looking at during the loading screen looks oddly similiar to the plasma rifle in halo3??
coincidence? I think not!!
12-20-2007 @ 5:10PM
That's not a spaceship, it's a mass relay. Yes, i'm a nerd.
12-20-2007 @ 5:51PM
Um...that's not a spaceship.
12-21-2007 @ 10:17AM
yes, it is a mass relay. no you are not a nerd, you're just nto an idiot.
and if anything, from that angle, it looks much more like an energy sword.
12-20-2007 @ 5:09PM
For those considering buying the game, there really isn't THAT much text in the game. If you're a fast reader you won't even notice it. And yes, there is plenty of good action. And no, the AI is not THAT dumb. In fact, I didn't notice the AI being dumb at all.
When you finish the game, none of the issues Yahtzee mentions will ever cross your mind. You'll just remember that the game was really good from start to finish. Unless you're a reviewer taking notes while playing or purposely concentrating on the negative aspects, you'll never notice them.
12-20-2007 @ 5:20PM
Homer 918 said...
Why are you reading text anyway? Everything is fully voice-overed.
12-20-2007 @ 5:19PM
I swear, the elevators on the normandy take 15 whole seconds. WTF people, are you all that jacked up on caffeine now that you can't just sit there and not twitch your thumbs on something for 15 whole seconds?
What I find sad, is that there are plenty of legitimate gripes about the game but everyone craps on about the same stupid things. OMG, a lot of dialogue in an RPG??? Who would have imagined such a thing?
12-20-2007 @ 6:51PM
Let's talk about legitmate gripes then:
I'll start. Man is Mass Effect derivative. The final battle was generic, easy and dramatically limp. The plot generously rips from Halo which itself wasn't that original to begin with.
Loved the game, btw. Best Flawed Masterpiece of the Year. If they just keep it up and polish what they've got, Mass Effect 2 & 3 should be incredible.
12-20-2007 @ 10:20PM
Oh, I totally agree, the battles are completely unbalanced. By the end of the game, your characters are so powerful that every encounter is a breeze.
And why can't you access the journal from the galaxy map?
And for a game with so many races, how come are the architecture looks the same? there's precious little variety when it comes to environments.
Why are there so many detailed codex entries that have nothing to do with the game play?
I also love the game, and I agree that there are flaws but please, let's talk about the flaws that actually affect gameplay experience and stop griping about the asinine.
2-06-2008 @ 9:50PM
Little late but here are my hates:
All the planets have no flora and look exactly the same exact for different colors of the terrain.
There are so many bugs with dying. On Ferros, when you go across the bridge, I went to a corner on the opposite side of the bridge and died. Same thing happened when I tried again. Same thing happened on the planet Liara is on, I went next to pipes and died out of no where.
Additionally the vehicle is the worst thing to control, until you get use to it. Turning around took me about two playthroughs to master.
Also, I noticed a get stuck bug. On the mine with Liara, near one of the first elevators at the railings, you can get stuck in the railing. That happened to me 5 out of 6 playthroughs, since I always walk to the side that takes less time. Additionally I got stuck inside the Normandy below the galaxy map. The only way I got out was by talking to Presley.
As well, the achievements were just annoying, especially the ally achievements. Made me play the game more than twice to get them.
Another thing is also the game is so repetitive. The side quests (required for achievements) are always the near same thing. The design layout for buildings on uncharted planets come in only three forms.
The autosave is a piece of shit. It should save after every loading screen. I died a lot on insane on the side quests and had to do the same planet again, which took about 30 min per planet. I died many times, despite I saved frequent.
I did like the game...the first two playthroughs, but it got way to repetitive and I realized all these faults.
12-20-2007 @ 5:35PM
Yahtzee hates all games.... take all his reviews with a grain of salt.
12-21-2007 @ 4:44PM
Mal F4cti0n said...
What I think David meant was that Yahtzee will find the flaws in a game (and every game has flaws) and make fun of them. That is what he does. That's what he sells, sarcastic mockery of that which is flawed.
But yes, you are correct. There a couple games out there that actually make Yahtzee grudgingly admit that he was hard pressed to find things to hate, like the Orange Box and Bioshock (which he actually admitted to likin in his Halo 3 review).
12-20-2007 @ 5:52PM
Big Filth said...
"Yahtzee hates all games.... take all his reviews with a grain of salt."
why does it have to be that yahtzee hates all games cause he doesnt like mass effect?? he didnt hate the orange box or AC. maybe its just that ME isnt as good as people say it is.
seriously, its not the 15 seconds in the elevator that sucks, its the the fact that youre in another elevator EVERY 15 seconds that sucks.
besides the "people" in the game, the graphics are the most bland boring graphics ive seen since the spider man friend or foe demo.
every room looks the same, there is practically no detail outside of the normandy.
its funny, cause I think the combat is one of the best parts of the game, it just sucks that its the only part of the game other than the dialouge thats worth shit.
if you like to play a game that you dont actually play very much then youd like this one, 80% of the time youre either, loading, walking through a bullshit hallway or listening to dialouge. then theres combat and exploration. the exploration is as boring as can be, every planet you land on is almost exactly the same.
my point, dont be suprised when someone doesnt like this game, theyre not crazy cause they dont think its as great as you do.
FUCK MASS EFFECT!
I kid I kid!
12-20-2007 @ 5:54PM
Big Filth said...
oh yeah, and ok, its a mass relay not a spaceship.
it still looks exactly like the plasma rifle in halo 3.
do a side by side picture and tell me im wrong.
12-20-2007 @ 6:01PM
Big Filth said...
ok, the plasma rifle is the wrong gun. my mistake, I will find the right one, you guys know what Im talking about though