Update: We're experiencing issues with the embedded video player from The Escapist. To watch the video you can click through to Zero Punctuation's section of The Escapist site by clicking the image above.
Zero Punctuation has decided to reach into a bag marked, "Games History Deemed Better Than Life" to find out exactly what the appeal is. Victim number one is everyone's favorite open world role-playing game, The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. From Bethesda, the guys working on the upcoming Fallout 3, Oblivion takes players on an epic adventure that Yahtzee suspects is really just a poor copy and paste extravaganza.
This week in the land of sarcastic game reviews with few pauses, Yahtzee targets the recently released Army of Two. Choosing to firmly grasp the obvious humor immediately, the review starts of with the expected bromance jokes, and then moves to the horribly cliched story, the poor AI and the lack of QA. As is custom with Zero Punctuation, there is substance behind the speed, and Yahtzee touches on some important gameplay and genre topics. But hey you don't listen to Zero Punctuation for the quality analysis, but rather the quality humor. As is the case with Zero Punctuation, the video can be found after the break, and is not safe for those of you at work.
It would be fair to say that Zero Punctuation attacks each of his subjects in the same manner in which Family Guy executes flashback sequences, with ridiculous comparison. This week is no different as Yahtzee tackles the latest in the Turok series ... uh, Turok. However, possibly to save his own sanity, Yahtzee decides to call out Turok by way of juxtaposition and list off all the elements developers have used to death in every other generic first-person shooter. Things like, zooming into the back of a characters head to show we're controlling them.
This week's very NSFW video can be found after the jump, and we do this so you can heed our warning. Halo fans, you might want to grab a brown paper lunchbag and breathe because Yahtzee doesn't look favorably on your favorite franchise. But hey, it's all in good fun right? Right? Run Yahtzee, run!!!
As a general rule of thumb, it's usually a bad thing when Zero Punctuation reviews a game you like. The reason for this is quite simple: chances are that Yahtzee (ZP's fast talking, wisecracking host) is going to tear your favorite game a new one. If you happen to be a fan of Call of Duty 4, your wait is over. Call of Duty fans should have no fear, however, because Yahtzee has nary a bad thing to say about it all. As a matter of fact, he apparently loves it. We're currently fortifying the walls of Fanboy Towers for the oncoming flame war. You see, Yahtzee wasn't quite so kind to Halo 3. You may watch the extremely not safe for work review of Call of Duty 4 after the break.
It's frequently fitting that we begin Zero Punctuation related stories with a disclaimer, so here we go. If you a) love Mass Effect or b) have no sense of humor, you'd best turn around right now. This week, as you may have guessed, Yahtzee takes on BioWare's latest opus, Mass Effect. To put it succinctly, Mass Effect joins the likes of Guitar Hero III and Jericho. In other words, he's not a fan. His major beefs are the game's heavy amount of text and some less than great combat. You can find the video embedded after the break. It is, as usual, not safe for work.
Another week, another blistering Zero Punctuation review from our pal Yahtzee*. This week, the Brit expatriate takes on Guitar Hero III. The long and the short of it is that Yahtzee believes the game has simply ceased to be fun. More to the point, he says that anyone claiming to five star final songs on expert are simply "freaks." Yahtzee also shares our confusion as to why Clive Winston (our favorite character) was removed from the character roster. Honestly, it's probably best that you just watch the video rather than have us attempt to summarize it any further. Find it embedded after the break (incredibly NSFW, by the way).
*Yahtzee is not our pal. We doubt, in fact, that he is anyone's "pal".
It's become something of a tradition at this point. If it's Wednesday, it's time for another Zero Punctuation review from The Escapist. Chances are, if it's a 360 review, we're going to feature it here. Why? Because they're damned funny and we need the relief. This week, Yahtzee takes a look at Assassin's Creed as the result of several viewers emailing him about how awful it is. Looks like their plan backfired though, because it turns out Yahtzee actually likes it. It's not perfect -- far from it, as Yahtzee puts it squarely in the bronze medal category -- but in the end even the crabbiest game reviewer on the planet tells reviewers to "give it a chance." Yeah, we're shocked, too. The review is definitely not safe for work, so we've embedded it after the break. Enjoy.
This week Zero Punctuation reviews The Orange Box. While the review begins by concentrating on Half-Life 2: Episode 2, perhaps the most surprising bit concerns Portal, The Orange Box's mind bending puzzler. What's surprising is that Yahtzee positively adores the game (and hates himself for doing so). In fact, he likes the game so much he can't think of anything to criticize. Nothing. Even the short length of the title escapes his cynical clutches. Check out the (NSFW) review after the break.