Games Radar has posted an incredibly damning article about Army of Two from their sister magazine Xbox World. Apparently the magazine had been prepping to review the game -- they had played a near complete beta and were awaiting final code -- when EA decided to put the game back in the oven until next year. According to Xbox World, that was a good choice, but it's probably not going to save the game. It seems the game has no saving graces whatsoever, as the magazine can not come up with a single positive thing to say about it. The article damns everything, especially the plot ("based on some right-wing idea of how great the war on terror is") and characters ("infantile high-fiving redneck jackasses"). In a nutshell: "As it stands, Army of Two is a juvenile swear-fest with clumsy controls, a story apparently penned by a seven year old who hates them ay-rabs, laughable level design that tosses you into a cut-scene every thirty seconds, sub Perfect Dark Zero graphics and the two least likable characters in gaming history." The article concludes that the delay "is a stay of execution" and advises gamers to "Hope for a miracle." Wow, we can't wait for the actual review.
Hit the "read" link for the full article.
[Via nukoda]
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 5)
12-05-2007 @ 5:25PM
a ham sandwich said...
nah, i think ill skip the read link on this one this time. gee. i need to sit down.
Reply
12-05-2007 @ 9:30PM
Anticrawl said...
What the hell did Johan Falcon do? Jesus Christ all his comments are nearly zero, the man just wants to wait til the game is done to pass judgement. You people need to fucking relax...
man...
12-05-2007 @ 10:07PM
finnith said...
Well. I don't knoow what posts you were reading there.
He calls seems to contradict all truth when he says that OXM is small time. It might not be a good magazine but it surely is not small time.
12-05-2007 @ 10:32PM
Anticrawl said...
Hardly a reason to hate someone. If he isn't familiar with a certain media outlet does that make his opinion any less honorable?
12-06-2007 @ 1:28AM
Jonah Falcon said...
WHEN did I *ever* say OXM was "small time"?!?!
12-05-2007 @ 5:28PM
Jonah Falcon said...
I'll wait for major site reviews, thanks.
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12-05-2007 @ 5:50PM
Richard Mitchell said...
For what it's worth, Xbox World is a spin off of CVG. Not exactly small time.
12-05-2007 @ 6:35PM
Jonah Falcon said...
Oh come on, Richard. Gizmodo?
12-05-2007 @ 6:59PM
Richard Mitchell said...
I think you're responding to the wrong comment. I didn't mention Gizmodo ;)
12-05-2007 @ 7:04PM
Jonah Falcon said...
Okay, replace that with:
Oh, c'mon, Richard. Xbox World? Not exactly OXM here.
12-05-2007 @ 7:22PM
Richard Mitchell said...
Xbox World is published by the same company as OXM.
12-05-2007 @ 7:25PM
Jonah Falcon said...
And? LOL
12-06-2007 @ 1:20AM
Jonah Falcon said...
All I'm saying, Richard, is that Xbox World is still a relatively small publication, in comparison with such mags as OXM, EGM, etc. You'll give far more weight to an OXM score than an Xbox World score, for instance.
12-05-2007 @ 5:29PM
UNSCleric said...
Yeah, go ahead and wait for the reviews that are paid off, that'll sure give you an honest look.
This is an EA game, of course it's gonna be shit.
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12-05-2007 @ 5:42PM
Jonah Falcon said...
Because, as we all know, us reviewers all get paid off. Which is why we're so rich and driving around in Bentleys. (smirk)
12-05-2007 @ 7:13PM
Jonah Falcon said...
UNSCleric: Burnout Paradise, Mercanaries 2, The Orange Box, skate, and Spore - it's all SHIT!
12-05-2007 @ 10:46PM
Penguin Warlord said...
That better be sarcasm. Cause noone bad mouths my weighted companion cube, have you no respect for the thought to be dead.
12-06-2007 @ 1:25AM
Jonah Falcon said...
It is. My point is that saying all EA does is shit is a silly blanket statement. For one, Burnout Paradise is published by EA. That one I'm salivating over, too.
Oh, and Spore. Need Spore. Now.
12-05-2007 @ 5:30PM
BirdmanSTX said...
That almost sounds like the Kane & Lynch review on Gamespot.... until it was changed :)
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12-05-2007 @ 5:36PM
Token White Guy said...
I predicted this game would suck from day one. Am I wrong?
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